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FIC: Dawn (Hakkai/Gojyo) Saiyuki, NC-17, AU

August 1st, 2008 (11:47 pm)

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Title: Dawn
Autor: Xantissa
Fandom: Saiyuki
Pairing: Hakkai/Gojyo
Rating: NC-17
Summary: AU, s-f: He never planned on coming back…
A/N: A year ago I read Psion written by freeradical9 and fell completly in love with it. (Check it out or this story wont make any sense! Beyond being a PWP ) I waited for a sequel that never happened and finally decided to write one myself. With permission of course.
Warnings: AU, racial prejudice, m/m relationships.


Dawn

It’s been almost a full year since the time he was in Little Tougenkyou. The slums didn’t look any better from what he remembered; the youkai pointlessly aggressive and the half-breed scuttling around like cockroaches, trying to remain invisible.

There was nothing to catch his interest here, no place to hide for a human-looking creature like him, nothing to gain from coming back here.

Nothing but that man, the psion he met eleven months ago.

Micah.

He shifted his position on the very edge of the building. His toes were sticking out over the edge of the roof; his hands were in his pockets to keep warm and mobile, yet he felt no fear of falling. He watched the youkai scurrying on the street six stories below and felt nothing but vague contempt for their weakness. The youkai thought themselves to be so strong, so powerful in comparison to humans. To him, they were insignificant, unable to threaten or even touch him.

In rare moments, when his adrenaline levels were low enough and his body finally quiet, he felt disgust and shame at himself, for such thoughts. They were just people, ordinary people with their faults and weaknesses. It was him who was a freak, a disgusting caricature of a human being. A tool created simply for the sole purpose of killing. And kill he did. He thought about the last eleven months; he was probably a better killing machine than even his creators expected.

Everything had a red tint in the slow, cold dusk of this season. The night was coming quickly, painting everything in bloody colors.

For a moment everything went red, the windows in the opposite building reflecting the setting sun, washing the streets in rust and crimson.

Like blood

J.D. felt his heartbeat quicken and his breath change. This color always had a peculiar effect on him, probably an effect of the gene manipulations done to his body. He pulled the night glasses from his pocket and slid them on, making his world appear in greens and yellows.

Micah had red hair. Red hair and red eyes with slit pupils, an unmistakable proof of his mixed heritage.

He touched J.D., reached him on a level that he didn’t think was even possible. Even now, so many months later, he could still vividly remember the sudden change in perspective. How it felt to experience both sides of his touch. Action and reaction. How it felt to know what his partner was feeling. That kind of sex was much more than anything he experienced before.

It was terrifying.

It was probably the first time J.D. felt fear. His life never had much meaning, whatever mission was assigned to him, he survived not because he wanted to, but because he was always stronger and faster than any opponent.

That closeness, however, that unbearable sensation of something reaching for his mind, into his mind, was terrifying, exhilarating… addictive.

Sex never caught him so off guard before.

No one ever caught him so off guard either.

Even now, if he closed his eyes, he could feel that slender, strong body stretched under him, taste the tobacco on the redhead's lips and feel the oddest touch so deep inside him it was like the sweetest agony.

He tried to fool himself into thinking that he could forget the man, move on, find a life for himself outside of the Lab.

It was just an illusion, a vain attempt on his part.

He was dangerous.

He was deadly.

He wasn’t human.

He wasn’t good, either.

In all of his life, he couldn’t remember the time when he wanted something. Anything. Now he wanted the half-breed.

He shifted on his precarious perch, not really admitting to himself the thrill he felt at the perfect control he had of his body. There were things the doctors either hid from him or didn’t know about. Things he learned during his year on the run.

He was even more of a freak than anyone could expect from a bio-engineered humanoid weapon.

His eyes caught the familiar figure leaving one of the cheap pubs that littered the area like trash. He came to Little Tougenkyou four days ago. It took him three hours to first track down the address and then the wayward redhead. For four days, J.D. kept following the half-breed, silently tracking his usual route from home to work, from work to the pub and then back to the small apartment. He couldn’t decide just what it was that stopped him from contacting Micah, but day after day he found himself following the man from a distance.

Micah hadn't really change. He was still very tall, a little bit too thin, with shoulder length hair obscuring his face when he walked like this, his shoulders hunched. There was a kind of melancholy in his steps, the slow, measured moves that carried him through the crowd in that odd rhythm of his.

His limiter and image enhancer had to work quite well if he hadn’t sensed J.D. yet and the way he looked... J.D. was surprised to realize he truly hated it. Hated the way his ears were elongated, sticking out from the mass of red hair, or the way his face gained that angular, vaguely animalistic tilt to it. Even he could remember the way his face looked lost in the pleasure he gave Micah, how his oddly colored eyes fogged over like old blood and stared at him with slit pupils. That flushed, sensual image was burned into J.D.’s mind so deep it could never be forgotten.

His tinted glasses let him watch the now familiar figure walk slowly through the dark streets, but they took away the beauty of his colors.

J.D. spilled a lot of blood even before he met Micah. He always found it disgusting and enchanting, arousing even. It spoke to his cruel, animalistic side like nothing else. Since he met Micah, he realized that it never again looked quite as good, quite as right. It never reached just that perfect shade of red, the shade of his hair.

Sometimes, if he closed his eyes he could still feel how it felt, cool and silky, sliding though his fingers like pure sin.

One night. One round of sex with a complete stranger had left him enchanted forever. Like a spell that never quite wore off. Some days, he was filled with longing that could tear his very soul apart, if he even had such a thing. Other days, when it didn’t matter how many willing bodies he fucked the restlessness wouldn’t quite go away, he cursed the half-breed for doing this to him. For binding him when he just found freedom.

Most days though, he just wanted to see if his memories were right. If Micah really felt so good, tasted so intoxicating. It seemed impossible that sex with that particular stranger could be so much better than anything before or since.

He watched the redhead disappear behind a corner and moved. With barely a move, he let his feet lose their purchase and he plummeted down, feet first. The air rushed around him, tugging at his hair and clothes, roaring in his ears. He could feel his adrenaline spiking and heartbeat changing. He took a deep breath, reached for the energy reserves that were always hidden deep within him and redirected it towards his feet and legs.

He landed in a light crouch, silent as a cat, absorbing the force of impact into his won chi energy and straightened within the same moment. Pulling the hood of his sweatshirt from beneath his leather jacket, he directed his steps after Micah.

There was a kind of guilty pleasure in following the unaware man. Something deep inside him, something the doctors tried very hard to bring forth, shivered in delight of the hunt. Somewhere along the way, Micah got imprinted on his senses as prey.

His prey.

Only his.


He licked his lips and followed Micah though the narrow, still more than busy streets. Besides the hooded sweatshirt, he made no other effort to hide his looks, yet no one looked at him twice. No one tried to stop him or even get in his way. He heard that youkai were more in tune with their instincts than humans. Maybe they sensed that trying to stop him wasn’t a good idea.

He was a predator in a sea of sheep, and even though some part of him despised them for this weakness, for making it so damn easy to kill them, another part of him trembled in fear.

Please, don’t make me kill you.

As all the days before, no one came to him as he walked the youkai slums, trailing after the half-breed. It was becoming almost familiar, this broken streetlight here and the boarded over shop at the next corner.

He watched Micah open the front door to his apartment building and then pause. The younger man, his face changed to look like a full youkai, looked over his shoulder, scanning the streets. His brows were furrowed and his hand clenched tightly on the door he still held open.

He was afraid.

J.D. pressed his lips together. That wasn’t his intention. He was so sure, so damn convinced, that he could follow the half-breed around without him noticing. After all, he prepared himself. Studied whatever materials he could get his hands on about psions, half-breeds and limiters. He was sure he got the distance right.

Obviously, he was wrong. It irritated him. He didn’t like making mistakes.

It didn’t matter how enjoyable trailing after Micah had been, a harmless exercise really, it didn’t hide the fact that he was simply scared of facing the redhead. It was ironic, just how important it was to him to be accepted by the man he saved so long ago.

He glanced at the info-screen transmitting latest news 24/7.

He might not be welcomed by Micah. If the man remembered him at all, if he was as smart as he seemed that day, he had to know, had to realize what J.D. had done.

The air pressure changed suddenly, an oddly wet and earthy smell filled the air around him and J.D. realized it was going to rain any minute. Pulling his hands from his pockets, he directed his steps towards the old building. It was time he stopped avoiding the issue. Better finish it now, before he caused damage to the first person who treated him like a human after knowing just what he was.

The cheap electronic lock gave after a few seconds, J.D.’s state of the art, miniature lock-pick descrambled the puny alarm system without a hitch. J.D. was particularly pleased with this toy. He pilfered if from the Lab after making sure they wouldn’t be producing anyone like him.

The staircase was narrow and surprisingly clean. He could smell the dampness of the walls and the unmistakable smell of old concrete, but he expected much worse. He climbed to the first floor on silent feet and paused at the last step. There were only two apartments at each floor. Micah lived in number 7.

The corridor was completely dark, the last rays of dusk long gone, but that didn’t matter to him. His glasses let him see in near total darkness.

The door with number 7 was slightly ajar.

His heart thumped excitedly, half fear, half anticipation setting his body on fire and twisting his gut in a way he never quite felt before. It seemed that at least that thing was true to his memories. It was enough that he got close to the redhead and he experienced things he never had before.

He felt… alive.

He considered the open door. And invitation or a trap?

Both probably.

It seemed he underestimated the redhead.

There was no way he could know what to expect on the other side of that door. He was risking so much more than just his life.

He thought about the images that haunted him for months on end. How that perfect, pale skin looked in the moonlight, how Micah’s lips parted open when he pushed inside for the first time. How that incredible heat felt squeezing him, caressing him, giving him pleasure he couldn’t find in anyone else. How that curious, honest mind felt inside him.

He pushed the door open and stepped inside, an odd weight in his stomach.

The room was as dark as the rest of the building, the bed, messy and lavishly big, was crowded into the space under the opposite wall, a small table and two chairs under the window that was barely four feet from the constantly working info-screen that flickered every four minutes.

He could sense someone to his right but deliberately looked over the layout of the place, his hands hanging loosely at his sides even after he heard the unmistakable sound of gun being cocked.

“Who...” The question, thrown in an angry and impatient voice was cut short as he turned his face towards the owner of the room.

There, standing in the entrance to the bathroom, was Micah. Still dressed in jeans and an old, faded tee-shirt, he held a contraband revolver pointed directly at J.D.’s head.

He looked like himself again, the elongated ears and pointed teeth gone, leaving soft skin and rounder, small ears behind. His red eyes caught the sparse light from the info-screen showing the slit pupils that expanded now. His hair, red as the warmest blood, was falling in soft tresses around his face. It was longer now, almost reaching Micah’s collarbones. His arms, bared by the ratty tee, were well developed, stronger than J.D. remembered.

Or maybe, he just remembered Micah like he wanted to remember him. As something ethereal, wonderful and not exactly real.

But he wasn’t ethereal. He was strong, earthy and now obviously shocked to the core.

J.D. noticed that the redhead took off both the limiter and the image enhancer. It baffled him until he remembered watching the man fight multiple opponents. He moved like water, avoiding blows that no one else would avoid, expecting attacks from opponents he couldn’t even see.

It occurred to J.D. then that Micah could use his psi as a weapon too.

“I told you I would remember the address.” He said quietly, leaving his arms hanging at his sides in the most unthreatening way he could.

“… J.D.?” Asked the half-breed, still keeping the gun trained on J.D, eyes still suspicious.

“Ah.” It occurred to J.D. what the problem was.

Slowly, he raised his left hand up, letting the sleeve slip back and expose three slim, metallic bands on his wrist. The electronic lock-pick, data band and psi scrambler. Slowly, as not to startle the other man, J.D. turned the scrambler off and instantly the wariness and suspicion in Micah’s eyes changed to surprise and something else… something he couldn’t name.

“J.D.” It wasn’t a question but a statement this time.

Suddenly, after stalking the other man for days and thinking about him for months, J.D. found himself at a loss of what to say. He just stared at the other man, half aware that constant hunger he always kept a tight lid on was rapidly clawing its way up.

He wanted to talk with Micah, to explain things.

But he was never taught how to express his feelings. It was an unnecessary skill and until he met Micah, he never actually needed it.

He realized he was supposed to say something, to greet, apologize… or something.

But all he could do was stare at the way the soft, red hair swayed around the long, pale throat. The faint beat of Micah’s frantic pulse under the vulnerable skin. All he could think about was to lick that place, to sink his teeth into the warmth of the other man.

Micah exhaled long and loud, the tension leaving his body along with the air. He let the gun down and put it on the dresser with an oddly loud thump.

“Shit man. It’s been almost a year. I...” He tangled one of his hands into the mass of crimson hair.

J.D.’s breath caught. The color seemed even more perfect than in his memories.

Something tight and dark coiled in his stomach.

“I figured that you wouldn’t come here, you know?” Murmured the half-breed and moved towards him.

In a blinding instant of clarity J.D. knew what Micah was planning on doing and froze. His body trembled with the need to control the rising darkness inside him...

Please. Please don’t touch me.

But it was too late already. Micah’s hand landed on his shoulder in a friendly pat and the redhead's eyes opened wide in shock as his psi probably connected to what was going on in J.D.’s mind. Faster than should be humanly possible, J.D. had them turned, Micah’s back pressed into the door, one of J.D.’s hands pressing on his shoulder, rending it immobile, the other fisted in that amazing hair while his lips pressed hard to the other man. J.D. let the hunger take him away as he kissed the half-breed, forced his tongue deep inside and tasted. He couldn’t get enough. He pressed his body as close as possible, tried to taste as much as possible. The heat he could feel coming from the other man was driving him insane, the hunger he couldn’t satiate for the last eleven months making him rub against the redhead like an animal in heat.

When he let go of those soft, inviting, now slightly swollen lips to taste that strong, corded neck they were both panting. Micah’s only mobile hand was clenched tightly in J.D.’s shirt. The pulse he felt beating wildly under his lips seemed to pick up even more, making him want to press his teeth against the vulnerable skin and bite.

Micah let out a constant stream of curses as J.D. did what he wanted with that expanse of vulnerable skin, and even when J.D. let Micah have the mobility in his other arm, the only thing the redhead did was curl his own fingers into J.D.’s hair and throw his head back, even as J.D. pressed his teeth to insanely vulnerable places.

In a rush, the bio-engineered man felt that odd something, that sensation of something reaching right into his mind. It felt just like he remembered. Honest and curious and kind of innocent. Just tiny threads seeking entrance rather than forcing in, promising rather than threatening.

He reached out for them welcoming them greedily, pulling more into himself even as he parted the other man’s thighs with his leg and pressed into the hot hardness he felt under the denim. It felt good, right, to hear the surprised gasp and then suddenly everything turned stereo. Each touch, each action he could feel from both sides now. He could feel the hard cock under the denim and he could feel just how good it was to have somebody pressing their thigh into the engorged flesh.

“Jesus...” Gasped Micah, his eyes already clouding, totally lost in the powerful hunger driving J.D.. “You... fuck… you…”

J.D. didn’t say a word, just grabbed the slim hips and ground them together, shuddering in the overwhelming bliss. It seemed that Micah realized what he was doing, that he was using Micah’s own psi talent against him.

He licked a long, wet line along the still exposed throat, the jaw and then to the already swollen lips. “Forgive me..” He murmured desperately, pressing his tongue as deep as possible, needing to taste, to devour as much as possible of the other man to satiate the hunger that hounded him day and night for so damn long.

“Shit...” Micah’s ringers twisted in his hair, pulling painfully, but not pulling away. He cursed, but his body arched into J.D., his hips thrust in the rhythm J.D. set and his head was still thrown back to give J.D. better access.

“Yes,” Panted the redhead after they parted for breath.
Yes, damn you. Yes. Do it.

The words echoed in J.D.’s mind. Like his own, just with a different flavor.

With one heave, J.D. threw both of them onto the bed that squeaked its protest loudly. Micah was on his back, J.D. kneeling between his thighs, hands everywhere at once. The need was almost blinding him; the only thing he could hear was his own heartbeat and the echo of his touches. He grabbed the waistband of Micah’s jeans and pulled, too impatient to wait.

The jeans gave way like paper, tearing easily.

He could hear in his mind the awe at this display of strength.

Not disgust, not fear. Just awe and want that fanned his own hunger even more. He didn’t even get to taking his own jacket off. Just tore enough clothing to get the most important parts naked. Somehow, he managed to take the small tube of lube out and squeeze its contents on his fingers.

Micah’s bit his own wrist to keep himself quiet and spread his legs even wider as J.D. pressed his fingers to the tight opening. He didn’t have to ask if it was good or if it was okay to add another finger, the odd yet amazing echo of what Micah’s felt provided by his psi ability was guidance enough. He watched the way his skin flushed and his eyes glazed over when he pressed three fingers into the tight opening, hurrying as much as possible without hurting the man.

The way Micah arched under him, the way his red, red hair fanned on the white sheets mesmerized him. It was impossible, to ever want anyone as much as he wanted the half-breed at the moment. His chest felt tight, his breathing labored and his cock so hard it was painful.

He pressed his fingers deeper, twisting them and Micah shuddered, arching his back, his cock heavy and full, leaving a trail of moisture on his own stomach.

Now.

He could no longer separate whose thought it was, he was just glad that the waiting was over. Pulling his fingers out with a wet sound, he grabbed the redhead's hips and pulled them up on his thighs, over the cloth of his own pants; until he got the other man into position.

It was easy, tight but easy, to slip into the incredible heat.

Micah pressed his eyes closed and made an odd, muffled found as the head of J.D.’s cock pressed inside. Unable to watch any longer, J.D. pulled the abused wrist away from Micah’s lips and pinned it to the bed, bending down to capture those wet, swollen lips with his, forcing the redhead to moan into his mouth.

It was hard to think, almost impossible, with the dual sensations of taking and being taken. He knew just how hard to thrust, how deep to go to never cross that line between pain and desire.

It could have been a minute or an eternity later when Micah arched with an almost painful squeal and came, his cock spurting white release on his hard stomach. It was all that was needed to push him over the edge too.

They lay in a tangled heap for a while, letting their heartbeats slow down. J.D. felt the constant hunger satiated for the first time in a very, very long time and it made him languid. Slow and content to just lay there, half covering the other man and feeling the threads of the psi connection withdrawing.

He vaguely wondered if Micah could read his mind, if such a thing was even possible.

Then decided that it wouldn’t be such a bad thing if he could.

“I thought…” Suddenly Micah spoke, his voice low and husky. “I thought that it was just my imagination. A memory that became idealized in my mind.” His voice held a wondering quality to it.

J.D. sighted and rolled over, so he lay on his back next to Micah.

“Yeah. Me too.” J.D. paused for a moment. “It was even better than I remember.”

There was a long silence from the redhead.

“Yeah.” He whispered eventually and it felt like a promise, somehow.

They lay there in silence for a while longer, just letting their bodies cool. It was Micah who moved first. He got up and stripped the tatters of his clothing, standing tall and naked in the dark room, totally unselfconscious.

He stared at the shredded denim and shook his head, not asking anything.

Naked, he padded towards the window and the small table beside it. He rummaged through the mess there until he pulled a pack of camph sticks and shook one out.

J.D. watched the play of muscles on his surprisingly wide back. Watched the enchanting line of his spine as it slid down his back and pointed at the hard, sculpted cheeks and lower to the firm thighs; he felt around his hips just a moment ago. There was a trail of moisture trailing on the inside of one of Micah’s thighs.

J.D. felt his own cock stir a little.

“You were the one following me?” Asked the redhead after bitting into the camph stick and taking a deep breath, the common stimulat obviously giving him a long desired kick

J.D. looked at his face.

“Yes.”

Micah’s face was thoughtful, a little distant, but there was nothing that spoke of anger. The redhead leaned one shoulder on the glass and kept smoking in silence for a few more minutes.

“Why didn’t you come earlier?”

If you bothered to come all this way… echoed unspoken in the room

J.D. kept silent, watching Micah’s eyes.

“I wasn’t sure I would be welcomed”

The info screen behind the half-breed kept replaying the same news over and over again.

“…The latest reports on the string of assassinations of the heads of Threedee Corporation state that the total number of casualties passed one thousand lives. One of the largest and most scientifically advanced Corporations is facing hard times with almost all of their management stall murdered, analytics fear that they might not...”

Micah suddenly pressed the privacy button and the window went instantly blank. The silence was deafening.

The redhead closed his eyes as he smoked.

“I’m glad you came.” He said finally and J.D. could feel that tightness finally leaving his stomach.

Micah turned again and pressed his forehead to the cool glass.

J.D. rose from the bed too and stripped his clothing, leaving himself as naked at the man before him. He watched Micah’s back as the redhead watched his reflection in the darkened window.

“Why?” He asked finally.

Why aren’t you afraid? Why do you want me? Why do you trust me not to hurt you?

“Humans are fallible creatures. We stumble and fall. And then we get up. That’s all there is.” Micah shrugged. “Nothing more, nothing less.”

“I’m not human.”

In the darkened window he could see the oddly wry twist to the redheaded man lips.

Micah snorted.

“Neither am I.”

J.D. reached him finally and set his hands on those perfect, slim hips. He pressed his thumbs into the firm flesh and parted the cheeks exposing what was between them to his gaze.

He could feel Micah shuddering and then the thin, soft tendrils reaching for his mind again. This time the connection was quicker, easier, almost familiar as he pressed the head of his already fully erect cock to the small, wet opening and pushed.

The redhead moaned and raised both hands to gain leverage on the cool glass, letting his head fall between his shoulders.

J.D. pressed in slow and deep, sliding on the slickness of their previous coupling, until he was pressed with his whole body to Micah. He pressed his teeth gently against the exposed neck and started to move, trying to appease a hunger that could never really be satiated.

Micah told him once, that this was a place to lose himself. For J.D., however, it was the place where he found himself.


END

Written in five hours (31-07-2008)

Comments

Posted by: Rhiannon and the Chorus of Chaos (chorus_of_chaos)
Posted at: August 2nd, 2008 12:19 pm (UTC)

SQUEEEE!!!!! I only recently found freeradical9's fic and read it, (and wound up ordered used copies of the psion series off amazon because mine are packed who the fuck knows where) and had really wished she'd followed up on this, and LOOK!!!!!

Thank you for writing this, you did a WONDERFUL job~!

Posted by: xantissa (xantissa)
Posted at: August 2nd, 2008 12:45 pm (UTC)
Hijikata

ohh thank you! It's the first comment! I never read psion, I'm simply working in what freeradical9 started. I'm glad you liked it though :))
I'm considering writting a few short stories in this universe later. It also depends on freeradical's response to this fic.
Thanks again!

Posted by: Rhiannon and the Chorus of Chaos (chorus_of_chaos)
Posted at: August 2nd, 2008 12:51 pm (UTC)

yay, first comment!

One small thing I noted...they don't smoke tobacco in the psion series...I think they use something called "camph" sticks? Evidently something like pixie stix, but WAY more stimulant than sugar! You might want to double check on that...other than that one minor picky detail (I can be such a shit, sorry) this was fantastic!

Posted by: xantissa (xantissa)
Posted at: August 2nd, 2008 01:09 pm (UTC)
Hijikata

ok! I'll check it out. thanks

Posted by: Rhiannon and the Chorus of Chaos (chorus_of_chaos)
Posted at: August 2nd, 2008 01:27 pm (UTC)

btw, friened you so I can catch more fic, saw you are also a xmen fan! (I hate to say it, I was collecting the comics before you were born, lol!!) and are you really in poland? Is English a second language? Because if so, I am SO freaking impressed, you write better in english than a lot of people speak it natively!

Okay, enough being goofy wierd me, I must get sleep! I was just so thrilled after having fangirled/squeed over radical nine's story not so long ago and then to see this...and I'm on an insomnia kick, which means I'm hyper :)

Posted by: xantissa (xantissa)
Posted at: August 2nd, 2008 03:07 pm (UTC)
Fai/Ashura

sure thing, I already added you.
please remember that x-men were my first fics written in english. I was very young then LOL I was still searching for my own style then so the quality might be... lacking.

and yes I do live in Poland. I use english exclusively for writting fiction and watching movies. I also speak russish and read some :) I always loves endglish because it's a language with very different meanings which allows me to express more without actually stating things out loud.
Thanks for the wonderful comments and do comment on my other fiction. I hop you will enjoy it :)

Posted by: Profiterole (_profiterole_)
Posted at: August 2nd, 2008 01:53 pm (UTC)
Bleach - Aizen

Awesome sequel to an awesome fic, that I discovered thanks to your post. ^__^

Posted by: xantissa (xantissa)
Posted at: August 2nd, 2008 03:10 pm (UTC)

heh thanks! I adedd you to my friends list so that you will be able to access f-locked fics if you want. And I'll be probably writting some more fics in this AU. If you have some good au to reccomend please do!

Posted by: Profiterole (_profiterole_)
Posted at: August 2nd, 2008 03:14 pm (UTC)
Innocent Venus - Jo and Jin

Cool, more chapters would definitely be great. ^___^

Posted by: freeradical9 (freeradical9)
Posted at: August 3rd, 2008 01:47 am (UTC)
futurehakkai

Oh, this was excellent. You've really captured the world and the characters here and I'm so glad you wrote and posted this. J.D.'s voice is clear and perfect, and I love the life you've given to his thoughts and motivations.

Also, to echo what someone else said, I'm amazed that such a detailed and well-planned fic could be written in such a short time. I'm envious of your speed! ^_^

(...And someday if I ever do finish my alternate version of events, I'm going to have to preface it with "And xantissa read my mind....", because there are some elements here that are very similar to what I had planned--which just goes to show how flawlessly you've captured the flavor of the original piece.)

I don't think I can adequately express how much I admire this sequel and how pleased I am that you wrote and posted it. Lovely, lovely work.

Posted by: xantissa (xantissa)
Posted at: August 6th, 2008 07:39 pm (UTC)
Hijikata

ohh I'm so glad you liked it. JD's characterisation was the biggest if of this story. I kept your story open in a separate window while writting so that I could go back to it and remember how Micah saw him. I also have this weakness for wicked, slightly insane characters LOL

well-planned.... eh.. well, I haven't planned a thing in my entire writting career so to speak. I write visually. I usually have this particular scene just stuck in my mind and have to write it. That's why my fics lack continuity and simply jump from scene to scene. I would have taken a lot longer to finish it but my beta said she would look through it provided that I write it by 3 am my time and send it. That was one horrible deadline I tell you.

read your mind? heh it's rather you set the mood just right, so that it was easy for me to follow it :) You know what I would die to read? Micah's POV of this fic. Most of the time they are separate after all (Micah and JD). So... think about it okay? even a half page ficelet would be a blast. And it might even make me write something more in this universe... there's so much damn possibilities.

and how about being a temporary beta? pleeease?

Posted by: freeradical9 (freeradical9)
Posted at: August 8th, 2008 03:17 am (UTC)

I also have this weakness for wicked, slightly insane characters LOL

LOL. Yep, that's J.D. to a tee.

You know what I would die to read? Micah's POV of this fic. So... think about it okay?

*grin* Your fic has made these character start whispering to me again. I'm certain that I'll finish up that Micah's POV fic I've been working on someday--although the time frame will probably be months from now. Feel free to play with them some more in the meantime, I'd love to read a continuation of this.

and how about being a temporary beta? pleeease?

Eh heh. Okay. Unfortunately, the only fandom you currently write that I'm familiar with is Saiyuki--I don't really think I'd be comfortable beta-reading anything else. I'd be happy to beta Saiyuki fic, though. Just let me know when there's something you'd like to have read. I'll look forward to it. ^^

Posted by: purpleicicles (purpleicicles)
Posted at: August 4th, 2008 01:57 pm (UTC)

Gnaaahhhhhh... *braindead*

You really, really really did this fic justice! You caught that same sensation of being lost and found and the quiet togetherness that binds these two. Plus it was hawt. ^_____^♥

Posted by: xantissa (xantissa)
Posted at: August 6th, 2008 07:42 pm (UTC)
Okita Souji

ohhh thank you! I firmly believe that whatever reality those two would be reborn they would find each other. Mu mind grinds to a stop at the very thought of any of them being with somebody else. just ACCESS DENIED, you know?

And writting slightly off balance, psychotic and very broken characters is my favorite kink :) Thank you so much for the comment.

EDIT: the story is going to be f-locked in a few day's. Do you want to be addedd as a friend so that you may read my fics later?

Posted by: purpleicicles (purpleicicles)
Posted at: August 7th, 2008 09:46 am (UTC)

And writting slightly off balance, psychotic and very broken characters is my favorite kink :)

Haa! Another one! *grins* And I would very much like to be added as a friend! ♥

Posted by: xantissa (xantissa)
Posted at: August 7th, 2008 11:11 am (UTC)

you are adedd!

Posted by: lauand (lauand)
Posted at: August 6th, 2008 01:29 am (UTC)
Gojyo - Fuck up

OMG!

I rarely like sequels, especially by a different author from the first one, since the characterization and style tends to vary, but I must admit this piece was awesome.

First, J.D.'s POV, the way he thought and felt, the description of his six stores high freefall (totally Matrix, I absolutely loved it), the way Micah was waiting for him, their interaction, THE SEX (wonderful and hot), Micah's actions after (how he goes in search of sticks, the use of the window), their last dialogue, all that it implies and how you worded it, and the nice ending sentence... all in all, a great fic.

I'd really love to read more of you soon.

Posted by: xantissa (xantissa)
Posted at: August 6th, 2008 07:48 pm (UTC)
Fai/Ashura

I share you fear of butchered sequels. That was the main reason I wrote from JD's POV. No matter how hard I tried my Micah's voice was very different from what freeradical9 wrote. JD was still a mystery and allowed me freedom. Also this is my primary style, that was mostly why I decided to try and write a sequel to somebody else's fic. It was the first time I did such a thing.

the fall.. heh had to get the chi thing in somehow, right? Hakkai without his chi is just... incomplete. Glad you like dthe sex. it is, after all, a pwp heh.

huge thanks for the incredible feedback. Comments like yours make me open a new Word document and actually write something, not just think about it :)

I'm adding you as a friend so that you can read my fiction in the future. I lock everything adult rated so that LJ doesn't delete my journal

Posted by: lauand (lauand)
Posted at: August 6th, 2008 11:24 pm (UTC)
Gojyo - Fuck up

Oh, thank you! I'll friend you back to keep track of your fics! Do you have more of Saiyuki? I've searched in your memories and tags but found nothing. D:

Posted by: xantissa (xantissa)
Posted at: August 7th, 2008 12:11 am (UTC)

nothing finished yet. I only have this one idea that keeps following me like a damned puppy. an AU thing that explores the possibility of relationship between Gojyo and Hakkai that has been greatly affected by minus wave. Think - youkai, badass and lots of teeth, claws and veins... other than that nothing Saiyuki yet

all of my fiction is archived in the two posts at the top of my journal. You can just check it once in a while to see if there's something new :)

Posted by: erinmacha (erinmacha)
Posted at: August 7th, 2008 03:10 pm (UTC)

I was a little hesitant at first to read this. Then after F9 recommended it herself, I gave it a shot.

Wonderful, wonderful stuff! Amazing. You did very well. I became very wrapped up in the story very quickly.


Well done!

Posted by: xantissa (xantissa)
Posted at: August 7th, 2008 04:18 pm (UTC)
Fai

squee, thanks!

Posted by: keleosnoonna (keleosnoonna)
Posted at: August 23rd, 2008 02:31 pm (UTC)

So awesome!!!
It's hard to find well-written AU fanfictions, but you did a wonderful job!!

Posted by: xantissa (xantissa)
Posted at: August 23rd, 2008 04:03 pm (UTC)
Hijikata

he he thank you!
It wouldn't have happened without freeradical9's inspiration though.

Posted by: Geri (geri)
Posted at: October 22nd, 2009 08:10 pm (UTC)

Damn i know that i'm a late reader of tis story but this continuation is very good indeed and you wrote it in five hours damn your great. I just adore these two together.

Posted by: xantissa (xantissa)
Posted at: October 22nd, 2009 10:03 pm (UTC)
CloudxSeph

of course you are not late. You simply happened to find it now :) Thanks, comments always count, it makes me especially glad to receive comments on older stories :))))

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